Stressful situations can arise when working in someone else’s home. Here are ten potential fights, which may happen, between nannies and moms.

1. Discipline – Spanking? Time out? Consequences? Discipline is a topic, which must be discussed with nannies in great detail. A nanny must understand what is expected of her when reprimanding a child. Parents need to be aware of their children’s behavior and give the nanny specific and realistic consequences.
2. Food choices – Moms can be very strict in regards to the amount of sugar their child is allowed to eat. As a caregiver, a nanny should follow the parent’s rules. Don’t expect an honest answer, when asking a child about how much candy their mom would allow…you may not get it.
3. Bed time hours – Many children need a sleep schedule. Sometimes parents find themselves not following that schedule for a variety of reasons. A mom may keep the child up later than usual because she hasn’t spent a lot of time the child that day. Bed time hours need to be discussed between parents and nanny.
4. Nanny’s work hours – The nanny should know the hours she is expected to be on duty, when working in someone’s home. An occasional extra 20 minutes due to traffic or an emergency is understandable, but a nanny needs to know that her employer values her time.
5. Drinking when nanny’s off duty – If a nanny lives with her employers, her off duty activities should be discussed at great length. If the nanny is of legal drinking age and chooses to go out with friends, parents may need to ask that she spend the night with friends. It would be inappropriate for the children to see their nanny in a drunken state. When living with the family, there is an additional level of responsibility, which should be expected and enforced for the children’s sake.
6. 6. Nanny as a smoker – We hear a lot of information regarding the health risks of second-hand smoke. It would be irresponsible for a nanny to expect a family to allow her to smoke while on the job. It sets a bad example for the children…not to mention it smells bad. If the nanny feels she must continue to smoke, she may need to invest in a “patch” which would provide her with nicotine as needed.
7. Nanny’s off duty activities – When a nanny lives in the home of her employer, her behavior outside of their home should be discussed. The nanny’s activities should not interfere with the family’s schedule or environment. If a nanny plans on being out extremely late, she should have an alternate plan that will not disrupt a sleeping household.
8. Parents needing private time with children – Nannies should always be aware of a parent’s need to spend private time with their child. Quite often the children can become very close to their nanny and pull away from the parents. Make sure to guard against this. It is important that the parents are the child’s most important caregivers. Be respectful of chances to reconnect with their child each day. Nannies should encourage healthy strong parent child relationships.
9. Expectations – When hiring a nanny, a detailed contract should be discussed and signed. A copy should be given to parents and nanny.  This contract should be referred to when questions arise regarding what is expected of both parents and nanny. It should encompass hours, family schedules, pay, holidays, discipline, etc. A nanny cannot do her job properly if she isn’t aware of the rules. At the same time, a nanny needs to voice her standards as well. She should feel safe in her work environment, too. By sharing her thoughts, a nanny encourages parents to respect her wishes.
10. Inappropriate advances toward father of the house – Nannies should always be respectful of the parents who employ them. Any flirtatious behavior is unacceptable. A nanny’s job is to help a family remain healthy, not cause distrust or friction between parents. Any sexual advances toward one of the parents would be cause for dismissal.

As a nanny, always remember, you are the nanny…not the mother. It is your job to support your employers and their decisions, unless of course, you believe the welfare of the children is in jeopardy. Nannies should relay their concerns with the understanding that theirs is not the final decision.